All consuming fire, You're our hearts' desire.

"Why should I feel discouraged,
Why should the shadows come,
Why should my heart feel lonely
And long for Heav'n and home,
When Jesus is my portion?
A constant Friend is He:
His eye is on the sparrow,
And I know He watches over me;
His eye is on the sparrow,
And I know He watches me.

I sing because I'm happy,
I sing because I'm free,
His eye is on the sparrow,
And I know He watches me

His eye is on the sparrow
And I know he watches.

I sing because I'm happy,
I sing because I'm free,
His eye is on the sparrow,
And I know He watches me

His eye is on the sparrow
And I know he watches me

He watches me."

His eye is on the sparrow

-Lauryn Hill

Ever so joyful I am at this very moment in time! Never have I felt such a thirst for the Lord and His word; a never ending craving I have deep in my soul! I pray that the Lord will let me praise Him forever; let me love Him forever; and let me weep at His feet forever with this broken heart of mine, and know that He is my only comfort and always will be! I pray that this desire stays in my heart yet at the same time is fulfilled by the love of my God!

This past week has just been overwhelming for me and has literally opened my eyes to something I feel I have not experienced in a long time.  Having God completely, and literally, stop me in my tracks and turn me around to Him has been beyond humbling in my heart.  Words cannot describe how amazed I am by the works of God by which He has spoken to me!
I questioned myself and the situation I was in for a very long time.  I couldn't understand why God had kept me in this boat for so long, and kept me so broken and confused.  Why couldn't God just show me the way!?!  That's all I ever found myself asking.  Why did I feel such a great loss at the thought of losing something that was not in God's plan for me?  How could I feel more of a loss for that than I did for the loss I was having by shutting God out.  Yes! I was shutting God out.  It wasn't that God wasn't showing me the way.  It was that I wasn't listening!  I wasn't even opening my eyes or my heart to God to where I could even hear what He was telling me; where He was leading me.  I was only hurting myself, and holding myself back.  I was holding onto the past, and not letting God in to lead me to my future.



"When your desire to go forward becomes greater than the memories of your past, you will begin to live again."

I was having just such an emotional week last week.  I didn't know how to deal with what I was going through and couldn't find the words to help me get through it; given I wasn't really looking too hard.  I was just sulking in my own pettiness.  Then my wonderful mother sent me this quote one night!  That's when it just hit me hard.  It hit me so hard that I was just speechless and standing still in my tracks.  It was all I could think about.  This was the issue!  I was dwelling in the past.  I was living in the past.  I was holding onto the past hoping that something good would come out of that destruction.  Hoping that I could still make something wonderful out of the memories.  I just wanted to be happy!  I just wanted to move forward and be happy...  But I couldn't move forward and be happy.  Not while holding on to that brokenness; that heart ache.  Things weren't going to change.  They hadn't changed in years.  So there was no point in holding on or keeping that hope in that situation.  It simply was not meant to be.  And by the joy God has placed in my heart since this weekend, I have truly found and understood that it was not meant to be.  I discovered why it took that course and that it truly did happen for a reason!  Everything happens for a reason!  It's time to move forward and make my heart whole again.  It's time to seek my happiness in the Lord and let Him heal me with his abundance of love!

"Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but a longing fulfilled is a tree of life!"

-Proverbs 13:12

Don't get me wrong.  This whole process has been a complete struggle for me, and still continues to be.  It's certainly not as easy as I may make it seem.  But I am finding myself one step closer to God each and every day.  I am finding myself to be a little stronger each and every day.  It's the most difficult thing for me.  To have an aching heart and to continuously search for that fulfillment... Let's just say some days I don't think I'll make it through.  But I stay strong for myself.  I stay strong because I know it is the best thing to do.  I stay strong to see my better days.  It's always great to keep this verse in mind.  1 Thessalonians 5:16-18. "Rejoice always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus!"  I honestly don't know where I would be without this verse.  It literally keeps me praying, keeps me hoping, and keeps me longing for so much more; It allows me to look on the brighter side of things!  It has helped me understand that THIS IS what God wants for me!  I should be rejoicing and shouting His name; not dwelling and sulking in my heart ache.  I give thanks that I have my God there for me through this time!  This is God's will.  And that's what is getting me through....

"So here's what I want you to do, God helping you: Take your everyday, ordinary life—your sleeping, eating, going-to-work, and walking-around life—and place it before God as an offering. Embracing what God does for you is the best thing you can do for him. Don't become so well-adjusted to your culture that you fit into it without even thinking. Instead, fix your attention on God. You'll be changed from the inside out. Readily recognize what he wants from you, and quickly respond to it. Unlike the culture around you, always dragging you down to its level of immaturity, God brings the best out of you, develops well-formed maturity in you."
-Romans 12:1-2

PRAISE GOD!

and

God Bless!