Thursday, September 1, 2011

Where I belong..

Do you ever just get stuck wondering where you belong?  It's like a never ending feeling, always wondering if you're where you should be with your life.  It's hard to truly be happy with anything else going on in life when you're left trying to figure out where you belong.  If all the puzzle pieces don't fit, then something is surely missing.
I've spent a good bit of the past couple years feeling like something was just missing.  And I couldn't figure it out!  Everywhere I went, everywhere I ran to, it just didn't feel like I belonged there.  I tried to listen to God and let him pull me to where I thought he was pulling me, but I never really felt like that was my permanent place; my heart didn't fit completely.  The one place I have been that has grasped my heart the most is Virginia.  A part of my heart literally is in Virginia and will never leave.  But there was still something missing.  Something that made me feel like I finally reached that point in my life where I could relax; where I was at "home" and could finally find myself.  The biggest struggle of my life right now has been finding myself!  I have never felt so emotional and frustrated with something as much as I am with the task of finding myself.  It seems as if it would be soooooo simple.  Well, it's not.  Like I said earlier, nothing really ever works out like it should when you're not in the right place with your life; spiritually, emotionally and physically.
How do you know that something is missing?  How do you know whether you belong where you are?  For me, I instantly realized I didn't belong where I was.  The feeling just followed me everywhere.  I knew I didn't belong where I was simply by the desires I had in my heart.  I wanted so badly just to get out, to get away, and to just start on my dreams!  I know I would never accomplish that with where I was....
Finally, the opportunity came to.  I was finally given the opportunity to get out!  I was now able to move out of Monroe, GA and onto bigger and better things.  Onto to college I went :)
I didn't originally plan on attending Georgia Southern.  I had my hopes set for VCU.  Yes, it's in Virginia and far away from Georgia, my comfort zone and everything I've had for the past 7 years.  But it's what I felt like was calling me.  I felt like God might lead me there.  My heart melted at the thought of being there away from everything and having such a fresh start.  Things didn't exactly work out with that route.  My next choice, Georgia Southern University.  I was alright about that choice at first.  It didn't really thrill me or anything at that point, given I had my heart set on another school for some time now.  As time grew closer, I became more accepting of the fact that I would be attending Georgia Southern and I grew a tad more excited as each day passed.  I just had to keep reassuring myself that everything happens for a reason.
As move-in day approached, I was very nervous and very anxious.  I was getting pretty excited at this point.  But truthfully, the only reason I was really excited was to just get away from Monroe and be out on my own for once.  But deep down I really felt sad and was feeling homesick before I even got in the car to leave.  I just felt scared of the chance I was taking: going somewhere brand new, where I know nothing and no one.  I pretty much left everything behind.  Talk about scariest thing ever.  I was dreading facing all my fears by coming to Georgia Southern.  I really had nothing with me, no friends, and no comfort zone.  I was now in a position where I basically had to go and meet new people on my own.  I had to step out there and make friends..on my own.  Three roommates and being anti-social wasn't really a choice anymore... I was living through my biggest fears.

So the first week of school goes by... boy could I have ever been more wrong.  I have fallen in love.  Georgia Southern is the most beautiful and heart-warming place I have been in a very long time.  I fell in love with the school instantly.  I have never felt so sure about something as I do now with this feeling.  I have met some of the most amazing people ever, made new friends, re kindled old friendships, and started doing the things I love.  I have truly began to find myself.  I am quickly already discovering the things I really do want in life.  My priorities have changed instantly.  I have gotten involved with BCM, I am staying focused on my studies this early in the game, I have been doing my yoga and I am actually pursuing my life passion in school; art.  I have just suddenly become so passionate about everything around me.  I love being here on this beautiful campus and around these delightful people.  Every day has just been wonderful for me.  Even when one little thing goes wrong, I can't help but to still just feel joyful and keep this smile on my face!  I have finally found where I belong!  How do I know for sure this is where I belong?  Well, I don't feel like anything is missing anymore.  This may sound bad..but I'm not homesick at all.  I have been perfectly happy living here.  I don't feel like I am missing out on anything back at home.  I don't envy all the people who are going out and doing everything together.  Don't get me wrong, I miss my family and my friends.  I just don't miss being in that town going down the road to nowhere.  I don't miss being around all the drama and the worries.  I found a better place for my heart.  Here in Statesboro is where I am finding that all my opportunities are.  My opportunities with school, my career, God, friends, new relationships; it's all here.  I have never felt so sure about something before, but I truly feel like God brought me here for a reason.  He made all this possible for a reason.  This is where I belong...and I love it!

So how do you know if you're where you belong?  Do you have that feeling where you're questioning everything you do with your life?  Where you're eager to get out and away from where you are now; anywhere but there.  Then find where you belong.  Get to that point in your life where you feel like you couldn't get any happier.  Get to the place where you are happy and enjoy every single day of your life.  It's worth the risks, trust me.  There you'll find everything you're looking for.  You'll find all the answers.  You'll find where you belong.

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